It’s Pageant Season!

Hi all!

After a very long hiatus, we are back, and it is most definitely pageant season.  How can you tell?  Well, let me illustrate it for you…

So that’s how you’ll know… good luck to you.

Anyway, this is a good time to be helpful.  Here’s a subtle hint: THE SIMPLE THINGS!!!!  You don’t need to be immensely adept and knowledgeable in all the facets of relationships and pageantry to make life a little easier. This is going to be prime time to start getting in the habit of doing certain things that just sort of make sense given the circumstances.  Here’s a list of ways to make things easier… for everyone (believe me):

Cook Dinner:

Okay, this is a simple one.  Partly because its fun for both sides!  It’s fun for you because we are entering perfect grill season, and we all know how much fun playing with chunks of raw meat, fire, lighter-fluid, and metal tongs is.  It’s fun for her because she doesn’t have to worry about food!  You’ve got it covered.  Now, keep in mind, after the 5th day of hamburgers / grilled cheese you’re probably going to want to switch it up or else you might be the next hunk of raw meat on that grill.

Laundry:

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I learned how to do laundry when I was 10.  ITS NOT THAT HARD!  Just…do it.  If you don’t know how, make it a fun outing, because it’ll show how much you care / are willing to help.  That, and I’ve discovered very few girls can resist the sent of freshly laundered clothing.  NOTE: If you’re a fan of your own safety, make sure to ask her EXACTLY how she wants certain clothing items to be washed, if you don’t things could get disastrous.

Clean:

You know how, you just don’t want to, and no, shoving stuff under the couch doesn’t count.  Just suck it up and do it (unless of course you have a relatively OCD / neurotic girlfriend, in which case, ask before moving ANYTHING)

Flowers:

It’s cliche, but true.  Girls like flowers.  Find her favorites and surprise her with them.

BE PRODUCTIVE:

This one might surprise you.  When she’s been working really hard, and dealing with tons of stress and just trying to juggle everything at once, and you’ve been sitting at your desk playing Halo / watching Hulu… she’s gonna kill you.  Get up and do something; for some reason, it makes her feel better about all of her work.

So there you have it, 5 simple ways to make life better during these trying times.  It’s up to you whether to follow these guidlines or not, but  if you weren’t looking for help, you probably wouldn’t be on this site.  ;)  Have fun

In other news:

I’m working on merchandise!  It’ll be cool!  ….that’s about as far as I’ve gotten.

Miss America 2010

Alright, so first off, I’m going to say, YOU CAN, IN FACT, STREAM MA2010 online.  It just takes a little bit of sleuthing and bs-ing.  So, if they say you can’t, don’t believe ‘em.  Yes… I’m watching Miss America (Not necessarily by choice!  It’s okay to admit it guys, you might rather be playing World of Warcraft, or the latest FPS, or even going to a party this saturday night, but nope, instead you “suffer” through the 15 beautiful girls in swimsuits).  So, guys, I highly recommend watching the pageant, just do it, because the rewards will be worth it (not that the show isn’t already…. right? -eek-).  Your girlfriend will be jaw-droppingly amazed with you, no joke (Alright, on a side note, to all the pageant girls watching the show right now, am i the only one who thinks that “4 Weddings” show is absolutely disgusting and insane!?  I mean really?  AGH!)

So, back to the beginning, about the streaming, and how it works.  Guys, I know that watching the pageant could be a little harmful to your pride, especially if you’re sitting in your college lounge watching it where anyone could see.  Don’t lie, I know that every time someone comes in you sit up and go to the microwave like you’re just waiting for your hotpockets to finish.  I am comfortably sitting in my room, away from the judgmental public, watching the pageant.  :D so if you want the tricks, send me a post.

Okay, on a new note, I have a couple of little, inputs, then I have to go and celebrate a friends B-day.\

1.  Someone should play guitar / play guitar and sing for their talent.  I know that the drawback to it is that it’s seen as “manly” by a lot of people.  But personally, a girl who can play guitar = AWESOME!  Seriously people, think about it, it’s new and different.

2. Sadly, this one you can’t do, but I’m putting it up here anyway.  Anyone who becomes miss Hawaii, (or anyone for that matter) should do FIRE DANCING!  It wont be allowed because weapons aren’t allowed (laaaame, do you have any idea how many guys would support it!?), but still…. that’d be sick.

Alright! Thanks! Enjoy the rest of the show!

PB Survival Blog: A Resurrection

Alright, so I had a conversation with a friend, who does pageants, and she told me that she really likes this blog.  Then she went on to basically show me how much of an opportunity this site is, so I decided, I should work on this, because it’s fun, and I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback, so thank all of you (also, the fact that Ms. America 2008 is following this blog is rather coercing)

Alright, I need a new topic.  Oh, on a side note, the content of the blog may take a semi-drastic turn.  It will definitely continue it’s posts about how to deal with pageant girls and the organization as a whole – in a very manly way -, but it will now also address big topics in the pageant society, providing a 3rd perspective on any given situation (Academia here I come!).

Topic: What is the pageant all about?

Alright, this is kind of a big topic to try to tackle, so I may end up doing it in multiple parts.  Anyway, a lot of people will be like “Oh pageants, it’s just about looking pretty and it’s all superficial and silly”.  However!  What people tend to forget about (as long as they’re not directly in the pageant world) are the PLATFORMS.  Every girl who participates in the pageant (at least on the Ms. level) has a platform.  The Ms. America FAQ page writes that “In 1989, the Miss America Organization founded the platform concept, which requires each contestant to choose an issue about which she cares deeply and that is of relevance to our country. Once chosen, Miss America and the state titleholders use their stature to address community service organizations, business and civic leaders, the media and others about their platform issues. Since 1989, Miss America titleholders have appeared at thousands of public speaking engagements and charitable events to generate awareness for a variety of causes, including homelessness, HIV/AIDS prevention, domestic violence, diabetes awareness, character education, literacy, etc.” (Miss America.org) Now, heres where the guy part falls in, because I don’t really know what exactly a platform is.  I know it’s basically a cause / organization they work with and also what they would work on should they win a Ms. State or Ms. America title, for example “Advocating for women and youth in politics” or “The White House Project” or “Spreading Twinkies world-wide” – all manner of things.  The platform is the real motivation behind the pageant, and it’s what a lot of the competition is now based around (Interview, on-stage question, yadda yadda yadda).  SO! In conclusion (because my attention span is less than that of a fly) I’m going to try to revive this blog, and the platform is really important.

Okay, so I’m semi-bad at keeping it updated…

Alright, so, here’s another post (I’m in college, give me a break) hopefully it’ll be alright.

So! Pageant survival stuff.  Okay… well… what topic do i need to cover?  Ah, here’s one:

Look on the bright-side of life.

Okay, so, things in the pageant world can be kind of crazy to say the least, so, as a pageant boyfriend, it’s your job to not let that stuff get you down; or, you can let it get you down, and just be a pain to deal with.  It’s so easy to look at things positively, here are a few examples:

1) when I was at the Miss KY pageant I had the good fortune of sitting next to an extremely sketchy guy who had waaaaay too much time on his hands.  Over the course of the competition he talked to me about all the conspiracy theories surround MAO.  Also, he had a list of who he thought would make top 10, true, he got 9/10 of them… but I think that just adds to the creepiness.  I however, found this extremely humorous, and now have a good ice-breaker when it comes to pageant encounters.

2) The whole point behind pageants is to be so stylin’ it’s ridiculous (well, it’s not ridiculous to those actually doing the pageants, but we all know that there are just some times when we guys think “…what’s the point of that?”).  So, that tends to mean: lavish hotels, good food, fancy clothes (and I know that being in jeans and a t-shirt is awesome, but it’s also great to look like a millionaire) important people (as a theatre major, I find that connections are VERY important – they come in handy when you really need a favor) and other such things.

3) Going to a pageant, or supporting your girlfriend who does go, earns you MAJOR “good-boyfriend” points.  And we all know that’s never a bad thing.

after a long recess we have returned

Wow, first off I’d like to apologize for the serious length of time that has gone by during which I haven’t been posting.  Sorry, I just moved to college and have been wrapped up with all that craziness.  In any case, onto the craziness of pageantry!  Hopefully I haven’t lost everyone…

Dresses and Rhinestones and Girls, Oh my!
One of the freakiest things, in my opinion, when it comes to guys dealing with pageants, is the amount of attention spent on a single dress, or very particular parts of dresses, all the different rhinestones, and how the girls react to them all, etc.
I was standing in a dress store the other day with my girl friend who listed off a whole bunch of pageant mumbo jumbo that I just thought “you know…I have no idea what she just said…oh what the hell, I’ll go with it”.  And that right there my friends is one of the key things to surviving pageant craziness, just go with it.

Now, I unfortunately have a slight clue when it comes to dresses and rhinestones and stuff (don’t ask me why/how, I don’t know, but it’s gotten me into a world of annoyance, BUT, my girlfriend appreciates it), but I’m not going to expect that every guy out there dating a pageant girl is going to have as much of a clue as some others may have, so, the big thing there is, if you want to learn / really impress her, listen and look when she points stuff out that is either good or bad, and then mimic it.  If you don’t really want to put out the effort, then just explain to her “hey, I’m a dude” and that should pretty much be self-explanatory and relieve any pageanty expectations from you.

Appearances are more than half the battle…

This is going to be a reoccurring one; you need to look good.  You don’t need to look fantastic, but you need to look good.  The whole “Sunday morning headache and lack of shower” look will not fly in this particular circle.

So, clean up (Clean shaven is always best – I know, I don’t like it either, I like my scruff, but unless you want a whole bunch of pageant moms and dads and pageant officials looking down at you and your man stubble, then I suggest shaving) put on some clean clothes (without wrinkles!  Ugh, I hate this one but it’s true, wrinkles are bad, so recruit your mom or girlfriend – or yourself if you know how – and iron out those pesky folds) and some decent shoes, and go to the pageant and look good.  Oh, and don’t forget a tie, if it’s that kind of shindig.

When in Doubt, Latch onto the Family

Alright, this one’s pretty simple.  If you’re lost, or have no clue what’s happening (which is basically the same thing as lost) or you’re totally freaked out by the pageant scene, find the family of your girlfriend, and use them as a shield, they will protect you, they understand your situation.  Use them as a buffer and swipe a couple of those tasty hors d’oeuvre (that’s “or-derv”) things and a few free drinks and you should be fine.

Oh God, She’s Stressed…

It’s going to happen.  She’s going to be amazingly stressed out, so stressed, in fact, that she may act like a totally different person.  The important thing to do here is to be exactly the same person you always are, if maybe not a little more relaxed.  The last thing either of you need is another person being stressed and adding more stress to the already stressed out stress fest.  Just take everything in stride, and, depending on how well she deals with everything, casually tell her to “stop freaking out”.  Also, be prepared to deal with any physical abuse that may occur during your pageant experience, if she happens to be stronger then you (which could be the case, considering she has been going to the gym for a while in preparation) you may want to skip that last step and save yourself from a left hook to the face.  Just breath, take it all in, absorb it, and, when you have an alone moment, find some inanimate object that you can then take it all out on.  In any case, the end is always near, and, if she wins, you get to be all excited for her and thus she loves you more, or if she loses, you get to comfort her and support her and thus she loves you more.

Top 5 Reasons…

Top 5 Reasons it’s Awesome to Date a Pageant Girl

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1. Their whole pageant goal is to look good.  So when you’re down and feeling like you don’t belong anywhere, take extreme comfort in that fact that you have a smoking hot girlfriend.

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2. YOU learn how to look good.

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3. They have connections!  Now, this may seem kind of shallow, and trust me, it is.  If you need help publicizing anything, getting your foot in the door, or finding the right dress for a party (hey, to each his own) they are the best girls for the job.

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4. See the world, date a pageant girl.  Pageants happen all over the place, so you have an amazing opportunity to see the world as you cheer on your favorite pageant girl.

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5. Pageant girls are ice breakers, so, for all the shy guys of the world, pageant girls are great at making friends, and great at being friends, they’re nice, and they care; and they’re definitely someone you want to have care about you.

Face it people, we’re here, and you might as well accept it

Pageant Boyfriends.

You know who you are.

Does your girlfriend enjoy glitter and sequins a bit more than the next girl?  Have you discovered a disturbing number of dresses (“gowns”, whatever) in her closet? Can she put make-up on and do her hair in the amount of time it takes you to get into a days clothes?  Do you have a suspicion that she may be British royalty because of the various crowns hidden away in her room?

If so, read on.

Our existence has long been taboo, (and yes, sometimes our girlfriends are contractually obligated to deny our existence as boyfriends) but face it guys, we’re here, and we’re dating them, and now we’re a little less than comfortable with this whole pageant… thing.

This blog is for you – we are pageant boyfriends, an underappreciated (sometimes) under prepared (often) and under recognized (always) group of guys within the pageant community.  This blog is to help pageant boyfriends survive with their sanity, dignity, and facebook relationship statuses intact.